At some point during their journey with me, clients may come to the point where they say: “I’m stuck here. I know I need to do something, lots of things differently, but I just don’t know where to start or how to do it”

And I feel like doing my Happy Dance! We’ve reached the beginning of the Change Point. We’ve been exploring, raising awareness, releasing the ‘ughies’. The pathways are clearing.

This is where I help my clients to begin to observe themselves. To watch themselves in how they are being and doing.

As Melody Beattie writes: ‘When you’ve tried everything you know and your feelings and old ways of reacting still come to the fore – even when you don’t want them to, especially when you’ve made an effort to do things differently – watch yourself. When it feels hopeless, when it seems things will never change or shift, when you can’t help yourself and it doesn’t look like those around you can either – look at yourself.

Becoming intentionally aware of ourselves, non-judgementally observing ourselves without criticism or blame, is one of the most powerful tools we have for change.

You’ve probably tried over and over to change, to look after your needs before giving your focus to something or somebody outside yourself – and you’re possibly apathetic and exhausted? which can be exhausting.

Become aware – watch how you are being and doing.

Watch what you say, think, feel, how you act, how you react. How you respond. To really deepen your awareness, keep a note in your journal of the instances when you observe yourself. Remember, no judgement, no downing in yourself. Just mindful observation.

And here’s the alchemical ingredient: as you watch yourself, don’t criticise, don’t judge. Don’t even stop. Just observe.

Doing this, raising your mindful awareness …. How will this help?

Easy. When you become aware of what’s not supporting you, what’s preventing you enjoying a profound sense of ease and contentment – only then can you decide that you want to change. Only then can you offer yourself the freedom to change.

That’s me, for today. Thankyou.

With love, t

I’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this, and any of your questions.     Email me:; alternatively visit me on Facebook:     Trudy Arthurs, the Compassionate Confidence Specialist.

Visit to subscribe for my regularish free E-Notes – you’ll receive a free Compassionate Confidence e-book when it’s published. Looking forward to connecting with you, really soon.

About Trudy:

I’m based in Northern Ireland, and with the help of the magic of technology, work with clients around the world. Local executive coaching work includes the Police Service of Northern Ireland and several major local business in hospitality, manufacturing, retail and not-for-profit sectors.

I’ve walked and lived the path of recovery from alcohol addiction and a diagnosis of terminal cancer in 2000 – and am still here. It’s my learnings and experiences from these that are making me realise where my real joy is playing. Working with individuals and groups to encourage the blossoming of compassionate self-confidence.

Having delivered two tester programmes over the past four months, I am now upping my game.  The dots and t’s are currently being added to a brand new series, open to women who want to be more profoundly compassionately confidence, to themselves and others – both personally and professionally.

To priority-register for details of my new compassion programmes, simply email for info.


©Dancing Leopards 2016