What is it about Self-Compassion that’s so scary-making?   What is it that makes us resistant to being kind to ourselves? And admitting that we are doing so?   We sure as goodness know how to be compassionate to others. We know what actions to take, the language, words and tone to use. So what the heck is in the way of us doing the same for ourselves?

Are we afraid of being thought selfish / self-centred / narcissistic / unhelpful /fill in your word here: __________?

I’ve done months and hours of reading, research and exploration in preparation for my current and forthcoming Self-Compassion programmes, and have realised that one of the essential ingredients in honouring ourselves with self-compassion is a really simple one. Simple, but perhaps not so easy. Ready?



Permission to allow ourselves to believe that we are equal to everybody else.

Permission to realise that we are responsible for ourselves.

Permission to know that how we treat ourselves is an indication, nay, a direct command, to others as to how we will let them treat us.

Permission to free ourselves from the Inner Criticiser.

Permission to support ourselves in being better friends to ourselves.

Permission to release old, conditioned habits and learn new, self-loving habits.

Permission to allow ourselves to fully express ourselves with true confidence.

Permission to love ourselves. I’ll write that one again:

Permission to LOVE OURSELVES.

 This list could continue for many more sentences – this is just the start!

And I can hear you agreeing with me, feel your heads nodding …. And then the question arises:

“How? How do I do that?”

And that’s my question to you. You know you far more than I do. I can make suggestions, but they are perhaps not ones that will work for you. As a Transformational Coach, I help you enjoy and bring out your own wisdom. I truly you believe you know your own answers to the question: “How do I do that? You may just need a prompt. To help you get started, here’s one way:

Ensure you have a few minutes peace and quiet in a comfortable, warm, quiet space. Read through the words above again ‘til you have really absorbed them. Close your eyes, breathe right down into your tummy, feel your wisdom, Really feel it. Open your eyes.

Take a piece of paper or journal. Choose whichever of these question(s) resonate for you, and without thinking too deeply, give yourself your answers.

  • Where in my life do I give myself Permission?
  • Where in my life do I not give myself Permission?
  • What do I want to do to give myself deeper and more sustainable Permission?
  • How do I do that?

Time required: 5-10 minutes

Closing Thought:

“You are at my side, dear friends, and God is everywhere. Yet ultimately we are alone, making our way home by the candle of the heart. The light is steady and sure but extends only far enough to see the next step.” (Joan Borysenko)

To find out how you can join my 6-week Self-Compassion Project, email trudy@trudyarthurs.com; you can also use this address to send your feedback and thoughts which I’d love to receive.   I’m working on details of this new programme just now; they will be available in the next few days.

Visit www.trudyarthurs.com to subscribe for my regular free newsletter – you’ll receive a free Compassionate Confidence e-book when it’s published. Looking forward to connecting with you, really soon.

© Dancing Leopards Ltd 2016