Did you ever get that ‘YOU can’t do this!’ voice in your head? The voice of your Inner Parrot, squawking all sorts of undermining blech at you?
Yep, that one that makes you feel less than you are, small and useless? The one with the ughy messages?
I had a clear example of it just this week. I was challenged by one of my Mastermind coaching colleagues to “I challenge you, just do your Facebook Live broadcast”. I had been speaking about doing one before my Connection Café event, but kept tripping myself up, and not doing it.
For those not familiar with Facebook Live broadcasts, it’s to let people know in advance that you’re going to record a live video, on facebook, and invite them to join you ‘in the room’, to offer information about something they’re interested in. A bit of me was excited, but the bigger bit was terrified. But I’m no longer willing to let a challenge be bigger than me.
On Monday night, after two days of finding reasons to not carry out my part of the challenge, time was running out. And there was my Inner Parrot. Squawking away at me. All the usual stuff. And I had a choice. Be overcome by the squawking, or work through my challenge, which, after all, was something I actually wanted to do! So here’s what I did.
The Step Approach.
- I acknowledged the Parrot, thanked it for trying to keep me safe. Gave myself permission to just try this new technology.
- I took just five minutes Personal Quiet Time, away from all technology; did some focussed, peaceful breathing.
- Gave myself permission to make a complete haimes of it – after all, nobody is perfect!
- Wrote out a list of the various steps needed to actually do the FB Live broadcast. (1) send out an invitation to FB friends to join me at 9.15 for my first broadcast; (2) prepare what I wanted to say; rehearse the timing; (3) do a practice run on my camera-phone; (4) write out my headlines in big bold letters on a sheet; (4) pin the sheet on my pc screen, where I could clearly see it while looking at the camera. And a few other things.
- 9.15 came. I went live. Total timing was great at 5 mins; I’d notified my challengers of the plan, they were there with me, sending messages. And I got some really powerful feedback from lots of people.
And I had a ball. Having given myself permission to not have to be perfect, I was able to relax, enjoy the experience and just connect. I will be doing lots more of them in the future. Yes, my Inner Parrot is still messaging me. I don’t ignore her – I just question the reality of what she’s saying to me.
Let me go over the steps again, in a more general picture. You may find them useful when you feel deafened by your Inner Parrot.
- Acknowledge the fear, check out the reality – is what you’re hearing true or false? [You’ll generally find that it’s false.]
- Use the stabilising and grounding of your breath to calm the fluttery heart and brain.
- Give yourself permission to not be perfect.
- Create a list of the all the things necessary to complete the challenge. Begin to carry them out, one by one. Each time Squawker appears, check the reality factor and breathe.
- Ask for support – even if nobody is in the room with you, let a trusted somebody know your plan, ask them to support you over the airwaves.
- And carry out your challenge.
Congratulations. You’ve just enhanced your confidence and self-trust. Thank your Inner Parrot. Her squawking has helped you to grow, and bring more of your spirit, grace and courage into the world.
I’d really love to receive your feedback. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Please join me on Facebook: Trudy Arthurs, the Confidence Specialist. Tel: 07810 511 600 – call to arrange your free 30-min Enjoying Your Challenge Clarity Session. With blessings ‘til next month.
Who am I? I’m known as The Compassionate Confidence Specialist. An accredited professional etransformational xecutive coach, trainer and workshop facilitator, I’ve travelled the journey from alcohol addiction and a diagnosis of terminal cancer. These experiences, combined with my professional trainings and extensive research into compassion, mindfulness and resilience, allow me to help you learn how to trust your self, listen to your HeartVoice, see through your Heart’s Eyes and live the life you’re here to live with Heartful Self-Confidence.
To find out if I can be of any support in your personal exploration quest, simply contact me to arrange your no-strings-attached Get Acquainted Session. I’d love to hear from you: Email: Trudy@trudyarthurs.com Tel: +44 (0)7810 511 600
© Dancing Leopards Ltd 2017