It was my 59th birthday in February.
A couple of days before my birthday, out of nowhere, I began to get thoughts of “crumbs, I’ll be 60 at the next one”. That thought and others like it really floored me. The link between myself and the age of 60 is a bit like the Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge when it’s blowing around in the wind. It just didn’t feel real, right or true.
Looking to next February, I just couldn’t see me and the reality of being 60 sitting together. It’s not that I’m objecting to being 60. I think it’s more to do with my memory of looking at 60 year olds when I was younger and thinking ‘you’re so old…..; I’ll never be that old’. I was challenged to take a step off the Busyness Motorway and explore what’s going on.
How the heck did I get to be nearly 60? Who is that woman? What’s she about? What does she believe? Where’s she going?
I felt completely clueless. Drifting towards elder-dom (a new word, thankyou) without any real sense of being a part of the journey.
As you know, my work offers a space to clients to explore what’s going on – and generally create new realities for themselves. I have my own business coach (for business development) and professional coaching supervisor (to support me in being my best self in coaching). I speak with each of them on a regular basis.
I realised that I was missing the self-exploration space with myself in view of this approaching important life-passage point. So I decided to give myself the same opportunities to explore which I offer to others, and see what arrives out of it. I decided to create a year of becoming less clueless.
Well, not much anyway. I’ve always been comfortable, if not regular, with meditation. I love exploring psychology, neuroscience and things of that nature. I thrive on discovering creative approaches to coaching like EFT and Gestalt and Mindfulness. And if you really want to happy me, give me a book of poetry by David Whyte, Maya Angelou or Mary Oliver. When it comes to actually writing – I can be blissfully zoned out for several hours, content and creative. I’m a fine-weather walker, and find that once I go out, I generally want to stay out.
Without becoming too goal-oriented, I created a personal commitment and plan to do at least one of these things each day between now and The 60 Day. Sometimes I do more than one of them – depending on how I’m feeling, and other commitments. And I note briefly in my journal how things are going, what’s coming up.
I decided just this morning, as I was out walking and thinking about this article, that I’m going to write a weekly blog between now and The 60 Day, to post here. Why? This will act as a kind of accountability factor for me, and help me build upon my different experiences and awarenesses as I dance through the remainder of the year. I plan to be as honest and transparent as possible – that’s what self-exploration is about.
And equally as important, it may also be of some assistance, support or source of humour to you or anybody who’s heading in the same direction as myself – towards an intriguing transition time in our lives, with our full sensory, emotional, spiritual and intellectual awareness to support us.
I’d really love to receive your feedback. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Facebook: Trudy Arthurs, the Confidence Specialist. . Tel: 07810 511 600 – call to arrange your Clarity Session. With blessings ‘til next month.
© Dancing Leopards Ltd 2015
Hey lovely Mona – thanks for getting in touch. Yeaaaaheaaa – what a powerful decision. Huge congratulations. Y’see to me, and lots of others, you are not Mona the nurse! This is absolutely the time to be compassionate to yourself, giving yourself time to simply be Mona – whoever she is. And I believe you already know who she is – it may be a teensy bit scary to let her see you! I look forward to connecting here again soon. Lots of love, Trudy
Trudy, I’ve had the same feelings as I approach my 60th a few days earlier than you ( I believe). Have decided to retire on that date. This fills me with excitement on one hand, but fear on the other. What will I do? I won’t be defined by my job title (Mona the nurse). I’ll be Mona the ??????! Yet why have I made this decision? Yes…….I crave some change in my life, crave freedom, crave time to myself. Will be interested to read how you go about the rest of this year…..only 25 weeks to go!!!