With thanks to Zetouna.com for photo
Do you know those multi-section salad dishes, the ones that have small plates that sit in a circle around a central dish? The small plates can hold a variety of things like olives, peppers, tomatoes, onions – lots of different things that go to make up a lovely light supper, all in separate dishes.
I know this is odd, but stay with me here.
I’ve been doing some reading on self-trust over the past few months, one of my favourite authors Mark Nepo inspired this, and blow me, if I didn’t have a bolt of realisation when I saw the salad dish.
Looking at the multi-sectioned dish, pretty and all as it was, reminded me of how I used to live my life. Being different ways with different people. Being the way I assumed they wanted me to be. Being how I believed they would find it to be most comfortable with me.
Carving out bits of me to meet what I thought were the needs and wants of other people. Looking back, I can see why I did this. I was afraid of not being liked, of being rejected, of being different. Of being truly myself.
In doing this, I hid my shame, my vulnerabilities, my wants and needs. I became all things to all people. It became a form of self-protection. Or so I thought.
The eventual cost? Exhaustion. Sheer emotional, mental, physical and spiritual exhaustion. Another major impact was a deep lack of self-trust and self-belief. Which eroded any true self-confidence I’d had.
Until one day, following the start of my recovery from cancer, I just didn’t have the energy to play that game any more. I was done. Now, following several years of personal work, professional training, mindfulness and other wonderful, simple gifts, I’ve learned to trust myself.
I’ve learned to accept myself. To truly believe in myself. To be who I want to be, whatever the company. Or else I simply don’t engage with that company. I make conscious, intentional choices about how I spend my precious time. And with whom I do that.
I’m not saying life is perfect. I am saying it’s a joy to be alive. And to be fully myself.
My invitation to you, if any of this resonated with you:
- Sit quietly, consider an aspect of you that you hide from others.
- Breathing gently, ask yourself ‘what is it you fear might happen if you let this part of you be seen’?
- Continuing to breathe gently, let this awareness rest in your heart.
- Breathe this precious, sacred part of you out into the room. Notice how it feels to have this sacred part of you move from your heart, out into the air.
This is only a very short intro to connecting with and nourishing your self-trust. Visit my website for information about workshops and courses to help you become more self-trusting, self-accepting and self-confident. Details over on www.trudyarthurs.com. Come join me over on Facebook Trudy Arthurs. I’d love to hear from you. I’d love to hear your thoughts: firstname.lastname@example.org
© Dancing Leopards Ltd 2017