Yesterday I offered the concept of self-acceptance as part of self-compassion. ‘Accept the unacceptable’.   This is a pillar of SC.

And it takes time to get used to this. Here are some suggestions to help you do that.

Be willing to do it: Obvious, I know, but true. Giving yourself permission to accept your imperfect self ultimately allows a sense of freedom, a sense of ease. You can just let go.

Learn how to comfort yourself:  When you’ve begun to accept yourself, when you begin to know that all is well, that you are safe, you can begin to give yourself a soft place to land, the same way as you would offer to your friend or child.

Comfort yourself with your Heart Voice: Speak to yourself, mentally or aloud, in comforting words.   Separate yourself from the ‘event’, use phrases such as:

This happens to others as well;

This is not unusual for us humans;

Everybody has some kind of struggle.

Please know: Comforting yourself does NOT mean that you cease taking responsibility for your life and your choices. You simply begin to understand yourself from a perspective of empathy.

Sort out any confusing emotions:   Write in your journal about any setbacks of disappointments. Ask yourself “what did I learn from this?”

Give it time. Have no expectations of immediate change. Be open to differing emotional responses as you give yourself permission to accept what has previously been unacceptable.

The beautiful news? As you treat yourself with a similar sort of kindness, understanding and love that you easily and naturally to give others, your self-worth goes up.

Your heart and mind get the message – you are treating yourself with love. You are precious.


I’d love to hear your thoughts on all of this, and any of your questions.     Email me: trudy@trudyarthurs.com; alternatively visit me on Facebook:     Trudy Arthurs, the Compassionate Confidence Specialist.

Visit www.trudyarthurs.com to subscribe for my regularish free E-Notes – you’ll receive a free Compassionate Confidence e-book when it’s published. Looking forward to connecting with you, really soon.

Bye for now.  t x

About Trudy:

I’m based in Northern Ireland, and with the help of the magic of technology, work with clients around the world. Local work has included executive coaching in the Police Service of Northern Ireland and several major local business in hospitality, manufacturing, retail and not-for-profit sectors.

I’ve walked and lived the path of recovery from alcohol addiction and a diagnosis of terminal cancer in 2000 – and am still here. It’s my learnings and experiences from these that are making me realise where my real joy lurks.

Having delivered two tester programmes over the past four months, I am now upping my game.  The dots and t’s are currently being added to a brand new series, open to women who want to be more profoundly compassionately confidence, to themselves and others – both personally and professionally.

To priority-register for details of my new compassion programmes, simply email trudy@trudyarthurs.com for info.


©Dancing Leopards 2016