Today is about Choice. I love that word. Choice. How it feels in my mouth when I say it. The variety of sounds within that one word when I speak it. And the meanings of it. The many differing meanings of it. The importance of conscious choice in our lives.
For our purposes, I’m offering the word as a route to the reality of our personal freedom. Freedom from the spoken and unspoken expectations we allow in our lives. The most fundamental choice we have is the choice of the quality of our mood we want, each and every moment of each and every day. Now. Please – don’t just glance over the last paragraph. Read it again. We always have a choice about being compassionate to ourselves, a choice about how we show up each and every moment of each and every day – ESPECIALLY – when we’re alone with ourselves.
Whether we adopt a positive, supportive, yes – compassionate – vibe to ourselves; or whether we whip ourselves into a depressed, manic, witchy frenzy …. the choice is up to each and every one of us. Your questions to consider: what are your thoughts on choice? What language do you use about yourself when you are alone with yourself?
My answer to that last question? I was shocked a couple of years ago to realise that the most common word I used in my own thoughts was ‘No’!
It was a kind of a nonsensical ‘no’ – not even relating to a question or a problem; just a regular running of the CD called ‘No’. The realisation truly stopped me in my tracks. Which is kind of appropriate, as I discovered that this most often happened when I was out on my walks, just moodling along. ‘No’. ‘No’. And on and on. And the amazing thing is – I was actually quite happy in myself generally! I was in lovely relationships, good health, doing great work – to all intents and purposes, happy. But Boy! My Inner CD was really on a differing track! Becoming aware of that constant undermining track started me on the track of watching my inner language, nuzzling out what the ‘No’ was really about, and making a choice, a conscious choice, of how I speak to myself. It’s still a journey!
Your Action: You know at this stage ….. . As always, give yourself a couple of moments of relaxed, focussed breathing. Allow you to come to a peaceful pause. Ask yourself the questions offered earlier. And one final one:
What kind of language and tone do you use to yourself? Acknowledge your truths for you, and acknowledge yourself for doing this deep-dive exploration. Awareness is the first step on the road to freedom.
Closing Thought: “But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.” (Steven Covey, Thought Leader on Change; author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.)
To find out how you can join the brand new 6-week Self-Compassion Project starting in June, email firstname.lastname@example.org; you can also use this address to send your feedback and thoughts which I’d love to receive. Visit www.trudyarthurs.com to subscribe for my regular free newsletter – you’ll receive a free Compassionate Confidence e-book when it’s published. Looking forward to connecting with you, really soon.